I hope that you know that I don’t hate you. In a way I’ve cut myself off from really feeling anything toward you. You are almost a stranger to me these days. Actually, we kind of are, considering the fact that there’s been no contact between us in about four months.
It’s so strange, isn’t it, that people can be so much a part of each other’s lives so suddenly, and then just as suddenly become so little?
I guess that’s always been a part of my MO– I run into people’s lives and take huge chunks of their time and lavish on the attention, then my social ADD kicks in or just life in general kicks in and I might suddenly disappear altogether. Often the friendship still endures to some degree, and sometimes actually remain very close despite the lack of actual face time– thanks to the magic of the Internet.
We haven’t maintained contact because I guess I feel like it doesn’t really matter to you either way. Like nothing really matters all that much to you either way. You let things go, you let people go, and you wait for them to come back to you. I’m angry at myself for having wanted someone whose character I would usually avoid. Maybe it was an experiment, an adventure. You were certainly a lot of fun.
The trouble is that our personalities inherently clash– I care too much, you care too little. I talk too much, you prefer to shut down. You can easily go out dancing and drinking every other night, I like to hole up in coffee shops and talk. I guess opposites attract, but they can only stick together for so long.
Anyway, the end of us was really ugly, and I think that we have too many personality conflicts to ever really be friends the way I am with so many of my exes, but I want to make sure you know that I hope for the best for you, and I do hope that you are happy, and I hope that you’re making art.