one year before

Dear Sally,

Today, I feel ready.

I know, I know I’ve said it before, but I really mean it this time. I’m ready. I hate that people call this state “giving up.” I don’t think I’m giving up anything. I feel like I’ve acquired something.

Like I got back that piece of myself that you had. Today, I feel whole.

And it’s not just because of Chrissy. I don’t want you to think that I can say this just because of her. Because it’s not as simple as that– just finding someone else to direct that energy toward. It’s more like digestion.

Am I comparing getting over you to taking a shit? Yep, I guess so. Our relationship was like a huge bowl of Irish oatmeal, slow to make its way out. Leaves you feeling full for a really long time.

The point is I feel free today.

I still love you, though. I’m not sure how the two feelings manage to coexist.

Liana

One thought on “one year before

  1. I like this moment. I love the idea of wholeness, the role love plays in it, the way we give and receive connections.

    I really like this line:
    Like I got back that piece of myself that you had. Today, I feel whole.

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