chance

Dear Sally,

I don’t know if this is even about you any more.

It feels like it’s just me now. Or maybe I am just trying too hard with the wrong person. You’re supposed to know it, feel it, not question it, right, when it’s real? When it’s right?

I don’t feel that thing. That click. That want.

So why do I keep going?

There’s a part of me that hopes that things can grow. That at some point, I’m going to look at her and feel… certain.

Maybe that never happens. Maybe it’s just about desire, about wanting it badly enough to just keep going.

But what if I keep going and going and going and then– I meet someone.

Everything would be twisted. Wrong. And I might miss a chance, because the circumstances would be so fucked up.

Can I take that risk?

Liana