there

I was shocked to hear the voices
on the telephone
threaten me with
bodily harm for no
apparent reason.

Some friend of yours
from the school a few
miles away telling me
that I should watch my back,

you attempting to
pick a fight with me
on the grass at lunch

I never understood what
it all meant– the accusations
of trying to be perfect,
my confusion at what that
was supposed to mean and
what made you hate me
after months of earnest friendship.

I think back to it now,
back to the adulation that
I showered upon you, back
to the sweet things I wrote
and read to you,

and I wonder whether the
fight-picking, the animosity,
was because you sensed
there was some
taboo desire
in me
for you,

and you wanted, maybe,
to defend us both
against it.

Whatever the case,
I forgive you.