hidden away

Do you still buy shoes
with secret lifts in the heel?

Are the same genre of
dirty magazines and DVDs
still in your sock drawer?

Do any of us really know
who you were, are,
who you want to be?

I worry over this
uncertainty,

wonder whether
there is something
between us that
could grow with
more time and
attention,

with more
courage.

That day you asked
me if I was trying to
“look like a boy” has
always stuck in my mind

because you were the
last one I expected to be
disturbed by my
gender bending wardrobe–

wasn’t I always your
tomboy niece, anyway?

There was something
inside you that you tried
to run from,

and you thought you
succeeded, but

I don’t think you really did

and I think you see
it in me.

I hope that you
someday look closer
into each of us
and see

it’s nothing
to be afraid of,

it never should have been
it still shouldn’t be.