to fall

filled with fear
from all the old ghosts
i think

it is happening
again

i am there
again

supposedly
not who
i once was

but the ghosts
they haunt me

i tell them to
let me go,
remind myself
that everything,
everything is different

and wonder
with eyes wet
skin cold
heart trembling

what if
it’s not?

what if it
is only
a matter of time
and i
am once again
perched
on the edge
of breaking?