strange traditions

beef stew
chicken wings
playing cards
Lakers game

government-sanctioned
break from work
a welcome chance
for quality time
with family

but i dread the
“holiday season,”
the sales, the scrambling,
my inability to
understand this
“spirit of giving”
that looks more like
the “mania of buying”
and where all the
generosity goes
when the decorations
are taken down–
every year
there seems to be
less and less around

i don’t know how to
divide Christmas from
Christ and i don’t
understand what Christ
has to do with half-off sales
and Black Fridays,
or even unwrapping presents
around a fireplace

i know well the images
of the season
every year i hold them
at arm’s length
i stand on the fringe
and watch them play out

i want to understand it all
more than i want
to belong