considering never

i set pleasure down in a place i declared out of bounds
for the sake of savoring fantasies from a distance

plenty of space for my imagination to expand to
encapsulate the endless permutations of where and when
and how hard and how soft and how fierce and how tender
the moment of our melding might be

not exactly a practice in delayed gratification
but an experiment to learn how much unfulfilled yearning
can be carried in a body burning for connection
nerve endings frayed and ready to spark skin into flames
at the slightest half-unintentional contact

i am curious about control and what it is to wait
and whether one with the heart of a wanderer
would do better to bear indefinite wondering than
to tease doors open only to too soon leave through them
whether the cruelty of never is more gentle than to
exchange the exquisite weight of memory
or whether the wanderer simply worries too much
over how much she may have to carry