loosen

i have curled
so close around
my small routines,
my reflection processes,
that i have
spun into a tight
ball of wire,
a sponge
squeezed too hard
and left to bathe
in sunlight too long
on dry earth

trying so hard to
hold together, to be
solid and whole,
i have forgotten
some necessary softness

i need to re-learn
to loosen my grip
to hold water
to be open, porous
to invite
to be unafraid of losing shape