contradiction, 1

so many things i do
are contradictory to
everything i want to be

i want to make a roadmap
a plan
an outline
of all the steps it
will take to get my
heart, mind, and body
in alignment

there is
no way to do that
without changing
the world around me

so this cycle
goes, of changing,
trying to change,
being changed,
trying to hold steady,
trying to dismantle,

fighting against the
complacency which
threatens to settle in
as we age, become exhausted,
become world-weary,

which contradiction
do i begin with?